Twas the night before Xmas
And all through the house,
Everyone felt shitty,
Even the mouse.

Mom at the whore house and
Dad smoking grass, and I
Just settled down for a
Nice piece of ASS.

When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter,
I sprang from my piece to see
What was the matter.

Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick,
I knew in a moment
It must be St. Prick.

He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment
The fucker had fell.

He filled all the stockings
With pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick
For my brother, the queer.

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart,
The son-of-a-bitch
Blew the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight,
"PISS ON YOU ALL AND HAVE
ONE HELL OF A NIGHT"

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